It's rather unfortunate the above scenario doesn't happen in each of our lives. It should. Instead, perhaps thoughts or words come across like this
Man I need to lose weight...
My arms are huge...
I try to exercise, but everything jiggles...it's embarrassing
Ug my hair is a mess and I have the worst skin, makeup doesn't do any good...
Looks like it's sweats again this week since my gargantuan hips can't fit into any jeans...
NOTHING looks good on me...
Look at that...I didn't know a human could have three chins...
I bet my husband/wife wishes I looked like I did when we got married...
I'm going to do a week juice cleanse and eat lettuce...no junk for me...
I hate my stretch marks...I'll never wear a two piece swimming suit...
I always have to stand behind people in the pictures to hide my stomach...
Crop that one...check before I post a single picture...
Sound familiar at all, or is it just me? This past week I came to the realization after I had spent an afternoon comparing myself to others, silently admiring their fit physiques and mounds of energy. Outside I smiled, but inside I berated myself and compared every inch of my body AND personality to these other people.
As I drove home I thought about the hateful thoughts I'd allowed myself to think of my healthy, maybe a little soft, but fully functional body. Then my sweet little daughter's face passed into my mind, right now I am beautiful to her, she thinks my short, wacky hairstyle is like a rock star...she often tells me "you look so awesome mom!" I thought to myself that it needed to stop...NOW. For her sake, for my two sons' sakes.
How long are we going to allow this cycle...this HATE CYCLE go on for our children to learn and adopt? Whether you agree with me or not, to me, each time we think those awful things about our bodies, or maybe our personalities, we are haters- of ourselves. The more we say the more we hate ourselves.
I am a spiritual person, so for me I view it as each time I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm just not good enough, I'm just not beautiful enough, I am viewing myself through Satan's eyes. Hmmm, when it's put in that context it's rather eye-opening. The being that hates me the most, absolutely despises me, pretty much wants me to be miserable...each time I say such awful things about this body, that is such a beautiful gift, I'm giving this despicable being power over me.
What would it be like if we looked at ourselves through a different being's eyes? What could we change in our overall happiness if we showered our beautiful gifts we call our bodies with love and thankful affirmations? What if we loved ourselves the way God loved us? How would that love filter into other areas of our lives and relationships? Even if you aren't religious, can you see how saying such things to ourselves is just as if a person who truly hated us were standing in the room degrading us?
I believe it would be a ripple effect. Yes, obesity is a problem. I've fallen off the bandwagon for the last year and half...I'll own it. But if we begin to love ourselves, won't we naturally want to take better care of ourselves? Won't we want to feed our bodies the proper foods? Won't we want to laugh, play and run with our families?
Now, please I know there are many content people who love themselves wholeheartedly who may be overweight...I'm so happy you have found such a peace. This message is for those who are stuck in the hate cycle. You may be 100 pounds and hate your image...I don't know. Whatever situation you're in, if you find you spend more time focusing on negative images of yourself...you may be stuck. Would you dare say some of things you say to yourself to your child or spouse? Why do we allow ourselves to say it about our own bodies then?
This cycle needs to stop. For the little people, but also for ourselves. I do not want my daughter or sons to stand in front of the mirror someday and scrutinize themselves to the point they leave the house self-conscious and full of self-loathing. I want them to look in the mirror, smile, think of who they can serve that day, and leave my home ready to strive for greatness. Think of what we can change if we show confidence and love to ourselves...think of what that will do for our families, friends and those we have yet to meet.
So, in my personal life, part of loving myself again is choosing to take care of my body. I have been lazy and I admit it. I will be starting Eat to Live again from Dr. Joel Furman...well I've already started, and I am going to get myself back to a comfortable, healthy, and happy me. If you aren't satisfied with something, find out what it is that is making you unhappy...is it your diet...is it lack of exercise...are you not sleeping...do you need to rethink your career...maybe you just need to do some goal setting and dream reaching. Someday is too far away to strive for our goals...today is when we need to start.
I will be posting my progress sporadically with Eat to Live, comment below if you have ever had a problem with the hate cycle and how you left it or how you plan to leave it!
Stay happy and content!
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